


You're a Girl and I'm a Girl. We're All Girls.

by flowercrownclem



Category: The Smiths
Genre: Everyone's a girl, Gender or Sex Swap, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-17 22:46:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3546554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowercrownclem/pseuds/flowercrownclem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oh no! The Smiths wake up and they're all female! What will they do?<br/>idk, probably have a pillow fight or trade horses or whatever girls do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're a Girl and I'm a Girl. We're All Girls.

One bright and British morning, the Smiths woke up on their tour bus, starved of meat but with very high morals. They each felt content, happy, and still a bit sleepy. Morrissey, the voice, looked blearily around his bunk, his vision blurry without his glasses, making out piles of smooshed flowers that had fallen out of his pockets after the previous night's gig. He carefully crawled out of the bunk and picked his way towards the bus' bathroom. In his own bunk, Johnny Marr, the guitar, yawned and tried to go back to sleep. Andy Rourke and Mike Joyce, the bass guitar and the drums, respectively, we're in their shared bunk, still curled around each other.  
Suddenly, the bus was shaken by an inhumanity high pitched falsetto of a scream coming from the bathroom. Johnny, Andy and Mike all stumbled out to see a horrified Morrissey standing before them.   
"Wus wrong?" Johnny slurred, rubbing at his eyes. Morrissey simply gestured to himself and when Johnny looked more closely at his friend his eyes widened. "Oh. What the fuck?"  
A decidedly female Morrissey seemed to have replaced their usual front man and when the others looked down and around they saw that he wasn't the only one who had seemed to make a sex change in the night.  
"What the fuck?" Johnny repeated.   
"Yeah," Morrissey agreed. "What happened?"  
"We're all birds," Andy giggled.   
They didn't make unattractive girls, but they didn't look that different than they usually did. Morrissey and Mike's hair, sleep tousled, each resembled pixie cuts, and Johnny's was still his black bowl cut. However, for some reason Andy's had mysteriously grown down to his waist in majestic blond waves.  
"How come Andy's the only one who's hair changed?" Johnny asked, crossing his arms.   
"Don't question it," Mike commanded, already weaving Andy's hair into complicated plaits.  
"Ooh, wait!" Morrissey told him running over to grab a stand for himself, "I'm really good at braiding."  
Once Andy's hair was fixed to Morrissey and Mike's standards, the four sat down in a circle.  
"So we're girls now. Okay. I can live with this," Morrissey said, leaning back.   
"Yeah, we just need girl names now so that we can fit in with all the cool popular girls and trade horses or whatever girls do," Mike said, "Maybe we should have a pillow fight layer or maybe Andy and I should kiss a bunch, idk. I've never been with a woman before."  
"Andy," Johnny said, pointing at the named bassist, "you'll be Andie. Like with an 'i' and an 'e.' Get it, like your name but spelled didn't. I'm really clever. Kay, Mike: you'll be Michaela. Also you'll wear bows in your hair cuz I think id't suit you."  
"Okay," answered the rhythm section in unison.  
"Hmm, now Morrissey. Your first name's Steven so, like, sta...un..st-...Stalin...no...uh...Stra-Stuuummmmmppy...no. I don't think that's a name. You'll just be Morrissey for now."  
"What about Stephanie?" Andy asked.   
"What? No. Is that a name? Uh, no. My idea is better than yours, Amelia! Shut up!" Johnny fumed.   
"I thought you said I was Andie," Andy pointed out.   
"Whatever," Johnny said. "Just go make out with Michaela or talk about horses or whatever."  
"Cool." Andy and Mike went back to their bunk.  
"Hey, Johnny, now that we're alone there's something I want to tell you," Morrissey said nervously.   
"What is it Moz? You can tell me anything," Johnny said, staring soulfully into Morrissey's eyes.   
"Being a girl these past 15 minutes had made me realize that...*dramatic pause*...I'm totes in love w you honey baby pie dragon."  
"Are you saying that you're..." Johnny took Morrissey's hand in his own tiny lady hand, "a lesbian?"  
"I am for you, bb," Morrissey nodded his pretty lady face, crying a tear of love from his female eye.  
"Omg I'm so gay for you, bruh," Johnny grabbed Morrissey's face with his tiny lady hands and they kissed a bunch and so did Mike and Andy and also they were girls for like a week and they learned valuable lessons or something and then they were dudes again and they were like "chill."  
The end.


End file.
